I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
