that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Randomize
