i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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