her vagine was all disorganized.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
