get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
