I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
