I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Quick, to the slutcave!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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