Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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