Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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