I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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