Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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