Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
