i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
