Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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