hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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