Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
