don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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