Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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