that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
