Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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