The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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