Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
