Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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