Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
