So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Two words: blizzard sex
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
