wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
there is glitter all over my balls
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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