I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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