Your tits are I can't wait for
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
