if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i think i just lost a toe
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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