Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
