alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
