I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
