you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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