this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
