Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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