first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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