just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
