Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Success! We fucked roommates!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
