Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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