I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I skipped work to stalk him.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
