My first STD was from a foam party
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
