it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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