he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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