im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
