He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
