hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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