don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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