It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
