I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
