I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
