I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
