My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
