Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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