Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
